Don't Go Into The Light

We here at DGiTL have received tons of email lamenting that some our loyal readership were unable to participate in sea turtle season because it was on the west coast. Well, pout no more, because now there's an important special sporting event on the east coast! Starting in just a few weeks, may I present:

Manatee Season!

What's that? They're endangered? Not any more, according to AP/Yahoo:

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. - The state wildlife commission has voted to take the manatee off Florida's endangered species list, saying the animal's population is on the rebound.

The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission voted unanimously Wednesday to designate the manatee as a threatened species rather than endangered. It also voted to remove the bald eagle from its list of threatened species.

Yes, that's right - authorities have determined that the manatee's population has more than doubled in recent years. Avid deer hunters know what this means - if the herds don't get thinned out, we're headed for an environmental disaster of biblical proportions! So to prevent disease and starvation, it's up to us, the sportsman community, to help out.

Know Thine Enemy

One of the earth's oldest species, the manatee didn't represent a threat to man until Florida and the Carribean saw European settlers. Widespread shipping (and the occasional sunbather) rapidly became the targets of this vicious beast. As represented in the following eighteenth-century drawings, the manatee exacted a terrible toll from mariners:

A manatee bears down on a distressed ship

Manatees pick off the survivors of a sinking ship

A pair of manatees preparing to capsize a lifeboat

Manatees ceased being a significant threat to shipping upon the advent of steam ships, which were able to outrun the deadly creatures. Nowadays, manatees are just seen as an expensive nuisance - many a boat owner has cursed a ruined prop caused by the malicious and crafty creatures.

So Lets Go Fishing!

Well, not exactly. When Congress outlawed the use of beagles as bait in 1873, deep sea fishing techniques became ineffective for hunting manatees - they just won't strike at anything else. Fortunately, there are a variety of fun methods to bag the big one this summer, and I'll show you a couple of my favorites:

Spearfishing

Spearfishing is a fun way to combine scuba diving and snorkling with fishing. And todays' spearguns are every bit as powerful and accurate as they were when Lloyd Bridges popularized their use in the TV series "Sea Hunt" as shown in the left photo below. Later during the show's three year run (1958-1961), Lloyd changed to a machine gun (below right). However, we at DGiTL consider this to be unsporting and recommend the tried and true speargun instead.

Using the speargun is as easy as it is fun. In the following picture, Tim distracts the manatee while Larry (out of camera view) closes in for the kill:

Wrestling

Manatee wrestling is the most challenging method, but by far the most rewarding. Due to the size and strength of these dangerous animals, this is primarily a group sport. In the following photo, we see Jake applying a half-nelson as his buddies help out. A sizable crowd of hungry onlookers is on hand - they know there's going to be a beach party tonight!

Note the empty scabbard in the foreground. Once Jake is finished testing his mettle against this powerful beast, one of his pals is sure to apply a shiv between the ribs! Remember, hunters - a clean kill is a humane one. Always respect nature!

Don't Go Yet - There's A Surprise!

I know that by now you're iching to aim the Winnebago at Florida and fire up that grill, but wait - hunting is a family sport. And although the young 'uns can't wrestle a manatee, DGiTL has generously provided a way the kids can participate.

All kids love to draw and color, so here's a picture for them (click for larger printable version) to use their artistic skills with:

My own kids have already joined in on the excitment. My youngest lives for food and can't wait to take that first satisfying bite of manatee, so her drawing shows how she wants hers prepared (click for larger image):

My oldest is somewhat more civic-minded. Rather than show her own culinary fantasy, she chose to draw something that no sportsman should be without - a meat-cutting chart!

But wait, there's more! Scan your kids drawings and email them to DGiTL and we'll post them online. Imagine the pride in having your child's drawing about family food, fun and good times on the web for the whole world to see!

So keep them emails coming, and hunt safely!

Happy Hunting!

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